Dominoes

A game of Dominoes changed my life. Seriously.

I have been blessed to be able to meet some fantastic people that have literally been used by God to give so much joy to my heart. They have shown me what true contentment is like when Paul speaks in Philippians 4:12-13 ("I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.") I have been fortunate enough to have friends that just so happen to be homeless. When I go to hang out with them, we play Dominoes. Sometimes they win, sometimes I do and sometimes I think they let me win. Through a game that I used to play by just matching the pretty colors, God has opened my eyes and heart.

Before meeting them, I was okay with going about living the American dream. Sure, I wanted to be a missionary but that was for when I got to Africa. That was for a couple years down the road after I had completed seminary and had all the answers... This may come as a shock but I will never have all the answers. I may not even go to seminary. I may never go to Africa. These are all things that I have accepted and you know what? I am okay with it. Missions isn't for ten years down the road or that one week in the summer. Missions is my life. It is my life whether I am in Gainesville, Florida at Bo Diddley Plaza or Zambia, Africa.

These friends that I mentioned changed my life did so with a simple smile and a few kind words. They did so by caring about me. They did so by asking about my day and how life was going. They did so by cracking a few jokes after I had a rough day. They did so by love.

A Change of Heart

"Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

I had to give a speech in my speech class...go figure. It was an impromptu speech and I was given the topic of "What is your dream job?" and then given a minute to prepare. Within five seconds, I had my two main points, helping people and going to a foreign country such as Africa. Piece. of. cake. I was going to ace this.

Wrong.

During the entire speech, I failed to mention the ultimate reason why I even wanted to do missions. Why dedicate my life to this occupation? Looking back I can see this sadly a picture of my life. What you put into your life, comes out. I want to dedicate my life to missions yet fail to even follow God's "easy" commands of "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength." I have been relying on the lessons that I have learned as a child to fulfill the substance that I need as a college student.

I have had the amazing opportunity to co-lead a high-school Bible study at my church in Gainesville. The girls that I have had the ability to get to know have challenged me in so many unforgettable ways. They have motivated me to know why I believe the things I do and have been used by God to give me an undeniable conviction that I need to read and memorize God's truth more than I already do. This experience has made me seek God's plan even further than just loving others. What specific group am I most able to minister to?

God has begun to open my eyes to the many humanitarian issues in my city that aren't okay, specifically homelessness. Through different churches in the area, BCM, and Godly friends seeking after God's heart, I have felt my own heart being called to this ministry. I don't know if that just means for a season of my life or spending my entire life devoted to it. I don't know. I don't have all the answers. But I know who does.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. - James 1:27

Change

It's a huge and necessary part of life but sometimes I just hate it. Plain and simple.

I suppose I may add more to this post later on but that's all for right now.

Good to be back...

Writing is good for my soul. Hearing the keys being hit by my fingers is great therapy for my tired spirit. When I was younger I used to want be older, be smarter, be prettier, be funnier. In essence, I just wanted to be someone completely different from who God, the creator of the universe and yet the lover of my soul, intended me to be. It has be a long and still ongoing process but I can honestly say I am content. I am content in who Christ has called me to be. I am content with the decisions that I know God has and is calling me to make. I am content in knowing that God has called me to a higher standard and, although the road is hard, He is worth it all. Content, in this viewpoint, is not to be seen as complacent yet having a peace. A peace that things will work out and God will provide. I have a peace that God will fulfill his promises. Don't get me wrong, I of all people, know how easy it is to get dissatisfied or even anxious that God won't fulfill His word.
However, in Romans 4:20-21, Paul is referring to Abraham and says, "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised." This is the attitude and trust level that we are called to have in Christ. Our trust in God should not be dependent on our feelings and the praise the Lord that is power is not limited to our feelings. I sure am glad that my finite understanding is not all that the God that I serve is limited to. Praise God, I don't understand everything. For when I am weak, then I am strong...

Desires...

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
- Psalms 37: 4
“Above ALL else, guard your heart for it is the source of life. “- Proverbs 4:23

Both these verses deal with the heart. The heart is the center of our well-being. Without it fulfilling its function, the body perishes. Just as the body perishes, so does our soul if it is not protected.
I think a lot of Christians struggle with obeying or even fully comprehending Psalms 37:4. Many of times, we think that if God grants the desires of our heart then it will be easier to follow him. But this isn’t what the verse is saying. It is a cause/effect relationship. IF you delight in the Lord, THEN he will give you the desires of your heart. However, God will not be used as a means to an end. He will not show himself to you if you are searching for him to find answers to your future, success, a relationship, etc. I found a quote, by A.W. Tozer, that I love: “The mighty God, the maker of heaven and earth, will not be one of many treasures, not even the chief of all treasures. He will be all in all or He will be nothing. God will not be used."
Sometimes, though, when you venture on the journey of delighting yourself in the Lord, you find that as you fall more in love with Christ, your desires may change. Our desires will line up with God's when our heart is in the right place. There have been numerous examples in my life that I have found out that when I am seeking God and asking His will to be manifested in my life, my desires change. It is often a painful process but is always worth it.

I would die for you. . .

¡Aqui estoy!

In John 15:13, Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” This verse shows the epitome of a true and pure friendship. The willingness to surrender one’s hopes, dreams, and future even to the point of death is nothing short of true love. You may think “wow” anyone who can do that must be special. Anyone who would love someone to that caliber of friendship must be exceptional and a greater person than the average Christian.
However, this type of love isn’t supposed to seem miraculous and extraordinary. In fact, it seems that only a few people in each generation live up to this standard. It should not be seen as an exception yet the rule/ standard of our lives. Christ demands it of us. When we are adopted into the body of Christ, we in turn get all the attributes that he possesses. He is joy, we become joy. He is patient, we are patient. He is selfless, we become selfless. He is love, we become love. Christ demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Christ DIED for us!
We come to him as filthy rags and yet it is then that he shows us just how desperate we are for him. He shows us that without him, we are destined to an eternal damnation in Hell. Yet, he does not do it in a way that is forceful or rude. He gently waits for you to accept the call he has on your life. Whether, it be as a missionary on foreign land or as an elementary school teacher, we are all called to live our lives as a living testimony to what Christ as so graciously done our behalf.

¡Enviame me!

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. . .”

For the past year or so, I felt God calling me to go to Africa. I didn’t want to go, plain and simple. I have felt called to the mission field since I was around fifteen years old. I have been to Mexico and I wanted to die there spreading the love of Christ. Africa was just too out of my comfort zone. It was unclear territory and I didn’t want to explore it. I was obeying God’s call on my life (missions) but yet it was on my own terms (location). What God soon taught me is that partial obedience is total disobedience. By not obeying His complete plan, I was disobeying my Lord and Savior and that broke my heart. Honestly though, I now have complete peace when I think about missions. God has etched foreign land in my heart and I can’t let go. The people in Africa and Mexico are always in the back of my mind. I don’t know the details or how it will all work together. I just know that it will because if God wants it to happen, it will.

Matthew 10:37-38: “Then saith he to his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous but the laborers are few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.

Starting a New Chapter

Let me start off this post by saying, I absolutely LOVE being at the University of Florida. The people, the knowledge, the atmosphere, and everything else is so amazing. I have met a lot of really good and seem to be genuine people here. I am taking 15 credit hours which include Marriage and Family, Philosophy, Precalculus Algebra, Sociology, and Biology. I have loved my teachers. North Central Baptist Church (NCBC) and Baptist Colliegate Ministries (BCM) are so amazing. I really belong there. I can tell these two groups are going to take up the majority of my free time. My roomate is the best. We hang out a lot and I can tell that we will be good friends. God has truly blessed me!!! Here are some pictures:The closet is huge! It's a walk-in. =)

My desk

My bed

The University of Florida...baby!!

Along with hearing the keys on my keyboard, I hear the rain splashing against the window and doors slamming in my dorm. I am finally through with the long awaited journey to UF. I arrived a couple of days ago and, for the majority, have everything packed. The hardest part of unpacking was putting all my pictures on my desk and my walls. Tears began to well in my eyes as I looked at pictures of friends who have loved me and been with me through it all. Memories of times spent loving and laughing rushed to the forefront of my mind. I began to miss it a lot. However, no matter how much I want to be with loved ones, I am so excited to be here. It is going to be amazing here. I just know it!

Sometimes when you meet someone you just have the immediate feeling that you are going to be friends with them for a long time. I have felt that so many times here.

I am excited for classes to begin. This university can help me quench my thirst for knowledge that I am desperatly seeeking. Speaking of desperately seeking, I am falling more and more in love with the Lord Jesus Christ every day. One difficult part of leaving Jacksonville was leaving First Baptist but the Lord had things planned before I even got here. My former youth pastor from FBC now pastors a church about 15 minutes from campus. He and his wife are such good role models and wonderful people to show you how to live in a way that honors Christ while having fun. =) I am so excited to go to North Central on Sunday!

God has me here for a reason. I firmly believe that. Whether it be to share my faith, become an encouragement to someone else, or meet a great guy I am tusting God with His plan for my life. =)

The Next Chapter

As I type this graduation day is looming over the horizon. The day I have waited for since my first day of school is finally here. In a mere matter of days I will be walking on that stage getting my diploma. I will be ending a chapter of my life and beginning the next. In less than three months I will begin my college education at one of the best universities in the nation. I cannot begin to express my excitement. In a way, though, it is odd that I would end up at UF. I remember how almost all of my life as a teenager I dreamt of going to Boyce. It was my dream school and all I talked about. I remember arguing with my friends about UF and how I would never apply there. After the prodding from a very dear friend, I decided to apply on a whim. However, once I started to really examine the school I knew in the very core of my being that this was the school for me. Despite it's bad reputation for various things, I know that this is the school that I belong at. I don't think I have ever been more excited for something than to go to UF. Yes, I am nervous and scared at times but those feelings have no comparision to my eagerness. God has truly answered my prayers. =)

What's Been Going On

All my life I have wondered where it was that I would go to school. Where was God going to send me and how would my journey take place. Well, right now I am on that journey. I have recently been accepted to both FSU (summer term) and UF (fall term). I have also applied to Flagler College but will not hear back until March 30th. I am confused about where God wants me. I feel it is at UF but I wonder if maybe I am closing off FSU and God really does want me there. Then, there is Flagler to consider. The advantages to Flagler are the facts that it is closer to home (and FBC) and it is a smaller school which means one-on-one interaction with your professor, which I need. UF, although a great school to study psychology, is extremely large. I am just confused about this and need time to pray and think. However, FSU needs to know by March 13, so I only have about 3 weeks. I hope God hurries on letting me know what He wants for my life. :)