Thursday, May 10, 2012

Make Way For Hellos

I am horrible at saying goodbyes. It’s messy and awkward and emotional and I hate it. Yet, for the next few weeks, I am forced to say goodbye to some of the people that have changed my life the most. I know it isn’t really goodbye because technology and the changing world have made it a lot easier to stay up to date on people’s lives. However, it is goodbye to way of the world as we know it. I won’t be able to just walk across the hallway to see my best friend. Instead, I am going to have to budget and make arrangements to possibly fly across the country. Now it is time to see what friendships are really worth because we are going to have to fight for what came so naturally in college. College has been a time of tremendous growth and change for me. I have loved deeper than I have ever before. I have made friends with people that I never would have imagined would have such a special place in my heart. I have been hurt and I have hurt others. My eyes have been opened to things that have forever changed the way I view the world and my purpose in it. I have been told a lot recently that I have had the most noticeable change out of anyone they know while being at the University of Florida. At first, I didn’t know how to take that. Say “thanks, I guess” and then awkwardly walk away? Say “thanks” with a sense of pride? I have come to accept that this statement is true and I am glad. I don’t want to be the same person that I was yesterday, much less four years ago. While I have changed physically and have, thank the good Lord, put the glasses away and started wearing contacts, I think I have changed the most in ways that aren’t exactly visible to the eye. I do not regret my college experience. Every single piece and every single moment have shaped me into the woman I have become. Every painful memory that at the moment, I begged for God to take away was worth it. Every time I felt rejected or unworthy was worth it because I made me long to show others just how worthy they were in the sight of the Almighty Father. Every single drop of pain I feel is worth it because it means that I have truly allowed myself to invest in and love others. So right now I am in the season of saying goodbye to some people that I immensely care for. I will miss these people but I will also take comfort that goodbyes make way for hellos.

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